Moonlight doesn’t really exist in truth. The word itself is a contradiction.
When we look at a full moon at night, it seems as though the moon is producing its own light. This is because the source of its light, the sun, is hidden.
If, enamored by the beauty of the moonlight, humans devised a system to catch the moon to try to preserve the beauty, we would soon come to find that it turns dark without the sun shining on it. Out of the reach of the sun’s rays, it has no light.
We might also discover that it never produced any light at all. We would find ourselves holding a rock, and nothing more.
This is all well-known today. But I imagine there was a time when those who, on a clear tranquil summer night, looked up at the moon and thanked the sun for its light may have been considered crazy.
We all recognize the feeling of home when we feel it. We recognize intuitively, the feeling of beauty, peace, gratitude, and of happiness. A feeling of fulfillment. How else can I put it into words? I don’t know.
From the bottom of our heart, there is a desire for this experience. There is a calling within each of us to return home and abide in the peace and happiness of our essence.
In each of our own unique ways, we seek out experiences to re-create it. Without understanding that the moonlight reflects the sun, we try to catch the moon.
Every form we seek to find this feeling in eventually turns into suffering. A beautiful house that once provided feelings of comfort gets repossessed, and we are left homeless. A person or a pet that once gave a feeling of connection gets sick and dies. Communities we try to make are eventually divided through war. A body that once brought the joys of delicious food becomes a source of pain and discomfort. The harmony of nature transforms into a battleground of competition and hostility. Romantic relationships that once had a spark become stale and full of conflict.
Is this why they call it a honeymoon phase? Is it because we relish in the sweetness of the moon and forget the source? Is that why it’s always a “phase”? Just like if you fix your gaze on the moon, it will eventually phase into darkness?
The sunlight can never be contained by the moon, just like we can never find more than a fleeting sense of home in form.
But we try, and try, and try. Don’t we? We take pills to make our bodies more comfortable. We seek the comfort of people to fill a void of loneliness.
And as we run towards the form, towards objects and people, we are running away from the formless. As we attempt to re-create home in form, we lose our awareness of one simple fact: that our true home - the only one that will satisfy our heart’s desire - is not in form, and never was.
At some point, when we slow down enough and our busy minds become quiet, we are reminded not to try to catch the moon, but rather to follow the rays of light back to their source and find the sun that shines forever.
When we fix our gaze on the sun we cannot suffer just as darkness can never arise in the light.
Every fragment of beauty and of love that this world offers is a glimmering reflection of what has always been inside you and what awaits your return in its fullness.
A shattered mirror’s fragments will reflect in all directions. Some pieces will seem luminous and beautiful. They are only reflecting your light back at you.
But if you try to collect those pieces, you’ll cut your hand.
Instead, realize they carry a message. These fragments are but little reflections. They reflect the light inside you, and so they can serve as a reminder that what is true can never die.
So long as you believe home to be something outside you in form, you will fail to see its source. Turn inward, into the formless. You will then find your home. The home that actually satisfies the heart’s desire.
This is not the kind of home that is susceptible to earthquakes. It’s not the kind that gets a disease and dies. There is no suffering in the truth of yourself.
This is the kind of home that rests before the world itself. Untouched since even before time began. This is where you are in truth. A dream can captivate you, and perhaps pull you away from the light, but it can never change what you are.
Turn inwards and remember.
The light of beauty at the source of it all shines forever. Find the source in yourself, in the formlessness, and your awareness will return to this essential peace and happiness that lies at the core of your being.
